I had a bit of surgery this morning, which has left me laid out in bed for a couple of days. Fear not, good readers! I have films and flicks to keep me busy and…un-bored! I can’t promise that I won’t pass out during one or all of them (pain killers), so my reviews will be most likely based on partial viewings of at least a couple films. Also, “review” may be a tad…completely wrong. They’re more just reactions to the movies the moment I watch them. If I pass out during one that I actually want to go back to, I’ll let you know. Ok, that’s enough jabberjawing…To the theater!

First up:

Teen Wolf (1985)

This is one of the many movies that my parents had to be absolutely sick of when I was a kid. They’d say, “what would you like to watch?” I’d respond with, “Team Wolf!” I was worried it wouldn’t hold up, but I was wrong. That wiener at the end is weird, though. However, still a great movie, and I stayed awake thru the Percocet!

Troll (1986)

Well, this is an odd one. I really like the special effects (very 1986), but the noises are a bit much. If you have trouble listening to people eat, avoid the kitchen scene in the beginning of the flick. Special note: the two main male characters are both named Harry Potter…oh and Elaine from Seinfeld is in it it…Plus there’s a gross little troll running around messing with people. I’m fairly sure he turned them into elves and faeries, but I did pass out after my 2nd dose of pain killers…

Rawhead Rex (1986)

This one had its moments, but overall a bit boring. I was a bit surprised when I realized it came out in 86. I thought it was 79-82 at the latest. Worth a watch if it’s easily attainable, though, just for the monster.

No Retreat, No Surrender (1986) [Rifftrax Edition (2015)

Cheesey as hell. JCVD isn’t in it all that much, so I was a bit bummed, but the lack of actual acting makes up for it.

Demon Wind (1990)

A bit of an Evil Dead feel. Worth a watch if it’s lying around.

Trespass (1992)

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

spiderman_homecoming_2017_poster_v2_by_edaba7-dbbax8d

Really liked it. No boring origin story that we all already know. Just right into being Spider-Man. Keep em coming, Marvel.

Navy Seals (1990)

navy-seals-movie-poster-1990-1020199682

No clue. I fell asleep after the Charlie Sheen bicycle riding montage.

 

Hard Target (1993)

hard-target

Stars Jean Claude Van Damme, directed by John Woo (debut), and co-produced by Sam Raimi…Want more? Also stars Lance Henriksen as the antagonist who hunts people…still more? Wilfred Brimley and Ted Raimi….JCVD’s mullet.

Raw Deal (1986)

rawdeal

So-so. I was in and out, typing on the laptop, and downloading NES emulators to my phone. I did nod off twice, but they were those instant wake-up narc outs that just disorient you for a couple of minutes.

 

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